Tuesday, June 8, 2010

THREE QUESTIONS PEOPLE ARE ASKING ABOUT YOU

Stephen Covey calls communication the most important "life skill" and in John Maxwell's latest book "Everyone Communicates Few Connect" I have never seen anyone go in great detail to help us become better communicators. It is a wonderful book for coaches but as with most of Maxwell's books, it can help you be better spouse, parent and friend. Here is but a small lesson of many I learned from the book.

Three Questions People are Asking About You:

1. “Do you care for me?”
“You can’t make the other fellow feel important in your presence if you secretly feel that he is a nobody.” -Les Giblin, former National Salesman of the Year and popular speaker

“If you would in a man to your case, first convince him that you are his sincere friend.”
-Abraham Lincoln

“Some singers want the audience to love them. I love the audience.”
-Luciano Pavarotti

“I get a speech over [with] because I love people and want to help them.”
-Norman Vincent Peale

"I am loneliness waiting for a friend.I am weeping in want of laughter.I am a sigh in search of consolation.I am a wound in search of healing.If you want to unlock my attention, you have but to convince me you want to be my friend".
-Calvin Miller

2. “Can you help me?”
In his book "Presenting to Win," Jerry Weissman points out that when people communicate, they focus too much on the features of their product or service instead of answering the question, “Can you help me?”

A Feature is a fact or quality about you or your company, the products you sell, or the idea you’re advocating. By contrast, a Benefit is how that fact or quality will help your audience. When you seek to persuade, it’s never enough to present the Features of what you’re selling; every Feature must always be translated into a Benefit. Whereas a Feature may be irrelevant to the needs or interests of your audience, a Benefit, by definition, is always relevant.”
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3. “Can I trust you?”
“Trust is even more important than love.”
-Jeffrey Gitomer

Whenever people take action, they do so for their reasons, not yours or mine.