RATE THOSE YOU ASSOCIATE WITH

The following comes form "The Success Principles" by Jack Canfield and I think is a great exercise to do with your team.  Student-athletes rarely realize that value of their associations.  Once with Coach Dale Brown at LSU, we took our team to Angola State Prison.  This was something that Coach Brown did about every four years.  He would always have a couple of the inmates speak to the team.  One year a young man spoke about hanging around a group of "friends" when a couple of them decided to rob a convenient store.  One had a gun and a patron got shot and killed.  This young man had no idea that was going to happen but now he was serving a great portion of his life behind bars simply because he didn't wisely choose his friends.

That may be an extreme case but is certainly valuable.  People that are constantly negative or don't believe in you "rob" you as well.  Here is what Canfield wrote about:

I’d like you to do a valuable exercise that my mentor W. Clement Stone did with me. Make a list of everyone you spend time with on a regular basis—your family members, coworkers, neighbors, friends, people in your civic organization, fellow members of your religious group, and so on.

when you’ve completed your list, go back and put a minus sign (-) next to those people who are negative and toxic, and a plus sign (+) next to those who are positive and nurturing. As you make a decision about each person, you might find that a pattern will begin to form. Perhaps your entire workspace is filled with toxic personalities. Or perhaps it’s your friends who naysay everything you do. Or maybe it’s your family members who constantly put you down and undermine your self-esteem and self-confidence.

I want you to do the same thing that Mr. Stone told me to do. Stop spending time with those people with a minus sign next to their name. If that is impossible (and remember, nothing is impossible; it is always a choice), then severely decrease the amount of time you spend with them. You have to free yourself from the negative influence of others.

Think about it. I’m sure you know people who only have to walk into the room to totally drain you of energy. I refer to these people as psychic vampires. They literally suck the life energy right out of you. Stop spending time with them.

Are there people in your life who are always complaining and blaming others for their circumstances? Are there people who are always judging others, spreading negative gossip, and talking about how bad it is? Stop spending time with them as well.

Are there people in your life who, simply by calling you on the telephone, can bring tension, stress, and disorder to your day? Are there dream0stealers who tell you that your dreams are impossible and try to dissuade you from believing in and pursuing your goals? Do you have friends who constantly attempt to bring you back down to their level? If so, then it is time for some new friends!