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Friday, January 8, 2010

FIVE WAYS YOU WANT OTHERS TO TREAT YOU

Near the end of the Sermon on the Mount, Christ summed up a series of profound thoughts on human conduct by saying, “Therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you” (Matt. 7:12).

Five Ways You Want Others To Treat You

1. You want others to encourage you. There is no better exercise for strengthening the heart then reaching down and lifting people up. The happiest people are those who have invested their time in others. The unhappiest people are those who wonder how the world is going to make them happy. Karl Menninger, the great psychiatrist, was asked what a lonely, unhappy person should do. He said, “Lock the door behind you, go across the street, dins someone who is hurting, and help them.” Forget about yourself to help others.

2. You want others to appreciate you. William James said, The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."

• Principle: We cannot underestimate the value of a single person.
• Principle: Don’t take advantage of people. J.C. Staehle, after analyzing many surveys, found that the principle causes of unrest among workers were the following, listen in order of their importance:
#1 Failure to give credit for suggestions.
#2 Failure to correct grievances.
#3 Failure to encourage.
#4 Criticizing employees in front of other people.
#5 Failure to ask employees their opinions.
#6 Failure to inform employees of their progress.
#7 Favoritism.

3. You want others to forgive you. Almost all emotional problems and stress come from unresolved conflicts and failure to have developed right relationships with people. The two great marks of a Christian are that they are giving and forgiving. Show me a person who walks with God, and I’ll show you a person who has a giving heart and is forgiving of others. People who find it difficult to forgive don’t see themselves realistically. They are either terribly arrogant or tremendously insecure.

4. You want others to listen to you. There’s a difference between hearing people and listening to them. Listening is wanting to hear.

5. You want others to understand you. How do you feel when you’re misunderstood? What kinds of feelings well up inside you? Loneliness? Frustration? Disappointment? Resentment? These are common feelings when we have been misunderstood. Peter Drucker, often called the “Father of American Management,” claims that 60 percent of all management problems are a result of faulty communication.

• The least important word: I (gets the least amount done)
• The most important word: We (gets the most amount done)—relationships
• The two most important words: Thank you—appreciation
• The three most important words: All is forgiven—forgiveness
• The four most important words: What is your opinion?—listening
• The five most important words: You did a good job—encouragement
• The six most important words: I want to know you better—understanding


From John Maxwell's "Be A People Person"