Thursday, October 13, 2011

THE ROLE HATE PLAYS IN OUR DEVELOPMENT

The following comes from "9 Things a Leader Must Do" by Dr. Henry Cloud:

Our character is in some ways formed through a process of what we hate and move against.

So the first thing that hate does for us is help us move against certain traits and issues, thus becoming different from them. We push away from attaching ourselves to the things we hate. Our hatred serves as a preventative force.

The second way hate benefits us is that it causes us to protect what we value. We hate it when things we love are threatened, so we move to protect them. In that way, hate is a protective emotion, urging us to stand for operating openly in the light.

The third way that hate is a good thing is the flip side of protection. Hate moves us to destroy bad things, which are often the things that threaten the good. The hate of evil protects the good not only by shielding it but also by cleansing the environment of the bas things that move against it.

As the apostle Paul wrote, “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good” (Romans 12:9).

Choosing what you hate is serious business. What will you tolerate? What will you not? What will you work with and what will you absolutely under no conditions allow? What you do not hate well is going to find its way into your life.

Make your values intentional. Think about situations you have found to be hurtful, and what you should see as worthy of taking a stand against in order to protect what you love.

Mix hate with love and respect. A déjà vu leader shows up with what we call integrated character.

Build your skills. Taking a stand against the things that destroy life can be tough if you have never learned the skills needed.