WENDI JONES: HONORING A LIFE WELL LIVED

It was a difficult drive on Wednesday to the northern part of Texas to celebrate the life of Wendi Jones who passed away after a second battle with breast cancer.  As I pulled into Keller United Methodist Church I for some reason parked towards the back and entered on the side.  Walking through the door I found myself on the church basketball court. 

How ironic! It was basketball that first introduced me to Wendi. 

I was a member of Dale Brown’s staff at LSU while Wendi played for the Lady Tigers.  There was a such a great respect for both programs and we supported each other in every way imaginable.  The women would practice from 12:30 until 3:00 PM while we would take the floor at immediately after.  I loved watching Coach Sue Gunter teach and would often head over to the gym well before our practice time to watch the Lady Tigers.  Their teams in that era were excellent.  Three things I remembered about Wendi was that she had an element of toughness, she played extremely hard, and she was a wonderful teammate — always with a great attitude.  These intangibles would served her well through life.

Later when Coach Brown retired, I had the opportunity to join Coach Gunter’s staff and one of my responsibilities was alumni relations.  My conversations with Wendi turned to alumni weekend visits and updates on her life and family.

The next link to my relationship with Wendi came about through breast cancer.  My wife Sherie, was diagnosed in 2007.  We made a decision to be public in our fight and see if we could raise awareness and money.  I think it was because we went public that Wendi’s husband Trent felt comfortable reaching out to me when she was first diagnosed.

Over the course of the next few years there would be various conversations, text messages and communication through Facebook.  I never ended one without thinking what an amazing attitude Wendi possessed.  I rallied our Lady Tiger family around her reaching out to our professional players as well.  Seimone Augustus, Sylvia Fowles, Temeka Johnson and others reached out to her and sent her things like their pink WNBA game shoes, head bands and more.

The last time I physically saw Wendi was at an LSU basketball game two years ago — alumni weekend.  I was by then on the staff at Texas A&M but couldn’t wait to see her and for the first time meet her son Ryan.  On that day, I wore a special pink Breast Cancer Awareness tie in her honor while she and Ryan were decked out on purple and gold.  It was a great day.

I was out of town a few weeks ago when Trent let me know that Wendi’s time was near and that she was at peace with everything.  I couldn’t help think how fortunate she had been to have Trent along for this journey.  Unless you have held down the responsibility of caregiver, it’s hard to understand the energy, effort and toll it takes.  Trent was amazing and I have so much respect for him.

It was a beautiful service with teammates Barbara Henderson and Shelly Raines there.  Barbara spoke and told some stories about Wendi that brought out her caring nature and her sense of humor as well.

As I looked around the church, it was at near capacity — a testament within itself.  As Coach Don Meyer would say, “You can tell more about someone at the funeral than you can their wedding.”  Among those in attendance were many junior high and high school students — too many to count.  Wendi was a teacher — it would be shared by her friend Lisa Bradley that was named Teacher-of-the-Year three times though it was already obvious how well she did her job by those students in the pews.

I thought of the quote by Henry Brooks Adam, "A teacher effects eternity, and you can never tell where the influence stops."  Looking at all these young faces I knew that the lessons they learned in Wendi's classrooms were important but the example she lead will be with them forever.

Wendi had also coached and Lisa gave great insight as to why she was a great teacher by saying “Wendi enjoyed practices far more than games.”

The family asked that in lieu of flowers that we “donate to a Breast Cancer charity of your choice.”  Today I will make one to the Kay Yow Fund in Wendi’s name.

I would ask that all of us that knew Wendi do one other thing.  I firmly believe that the best way to honor someone you’ve lost is by the life you live.  Wendi has given us all a great blueprint in her servant leadership example.

Thank you Wendi.  You will be missed but certainly not forgotten.  For as Barbara Henderson reminded us, Sue Gunter taught us the on the court or off the court is it always US.

LAUREN HILL, GEORGE BOIARDI, DUKE BASKETBALL: WHAT'S IN YOUR DASH

I was driving in early this morning for conditioning with our basketball team and was listening to Mike and Mike on ESPN radio.  I tuned in half way to Dick Vitale passionately talking about the battle kids face when diagnosed with cancer.  There are few people in the world today that are carrying water up the hill to battle cancer more feverously than Dick. 

Following him as guests on the show were the parents of Lauren Hill, Brent and Lisa.  Many will remember her as the basketball player who died of cancer.  I will remember her as someone who courageously made an impact on life like few others have -- even though her time here on earth was much shorter than most.  I personally was inspired listening to her parents talking about Lauren's decision to go public and see if she could make a difference -- and that she did.

It reminded me of a story someone told me, or maybe I read somewhere, about the "dash."  You see every event has a starting date and an ending day.  A basketball season has a first practice -- last game.  A coaching career has a first game -- last game.  A life has a birth date -- a death date. 

But it's the "dash" in between the two dates that's significant.  There is actually a poem entitled "The Dash" written by Linda Ellis.

Our team this summer has been reading "The Hard Hat" by Jon Gordon which tells the inspiring story of George Boiardi, a Cornell lacrosse player who lost his life on the playing field.  Jon's book goes into detail of the legacy he left in a short time by being an amazing teammate.

It wasn't about George's birthdate, or even the day he passed.  It was about the dash.  It was all about the time he put in between the two dates.

This past year, our season ended with a disappointing 1st round loss in the NCAA tournament.  To help motivate our players in this off-season, we created a motivational passout that detailed the journey of last year's Duke men's basketball team. In 2014, they too had a lost to a mid-major in the first round of the NCAA tournament.  Of course, a year later they were cutting down nets as the 2015 National Champions.  The key for the Blue Devils was of course, what had they done to fill in their dash.

And that stand for all of us -- in so many ways...what we are doing to fill in our dash.  It is process-oriented thinking.  Don't look down the road at an ending date.  Put your work in now.  In the words of Lauren Hill:

"Anything can happen at any given moment.

What matters is right now."


 

7 MONTHS SIDELINED

I have never had the opportunity to meet Abby Jump, a three-point shooting guard that plays for Wright State.  But she has a big fan in me.  Abby has spent the last seven months rehabbing an injury...being away from basketball as she has known it for the better part of her life.  But instead of wallowing in self-pity she has utilized the time to look at herself and the game through a different set of lenses. 

One of my friends made through our relationship with Coach Don Meyer is Keith Freeman who is an assistant coach at Wright State.  This past weekend at the PGC/Glazier Coaching Clinic we were talking about Coach Meyer, basketball and student-athletes that had great attitudes and worked hard.  This morning, he shared with me a paper written by Amy in which she speaks to the process she's gone through and how she has grown from it.  Our team at Texas A&M currently has three players rehabbing from injuries and I will share this with them as well.

Thanks for sharing Abby and continued success in your rehab:

7 MONTHS SIDELINES

As a basketball player you prepare yourself everyday. Offseason, regular season, and post season, you are always preparing. Preparing for practices, games, individual workouts, lifting, and if you want to get more specific, studying your plays and opponents. However, the last thing you prepare for is an injury, especially a long-term injury. We can handle full court presses thrown at us and 1-3-1 traps but as soon as an injury happens, it is natural to immediately hit the fetal position. The way I see it, when an injury occurs you can still look at it as if it is a full court press. How you handle and overcome an injury can either be a quick turnover or a hard- earned layup at the other end.

For seven months I wondered everyday if I would play basketball again. Some of those days I wondered if I would ever walk, sit, or stand without pain again. Back injuries can be severe and scary. For those seven months I was not only thinking of basketball, I was envisioning my life outside of it. My injury taught me about myself and about others. It opened my eyes to things I have been blind to everyday. It showed me the hard knocks of life and how to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It showed me the game stripped down from the sidelines everyday.

I could never deny that I was angry, scared, and frustrated everyday. But I also was thankful that God entrusted me enough to throw something of this caliber on my shoulders and know I would make it through. Because I know I would never be given something I could not handle. Although some days seemed the complete opposite.

Like I said, you are always preparing in basketball. What I did not realize was my injury was preparing me for life, whether I liked it or not. For seven months sidelined I wrote down notes of what I realized and learned about life and basketball from my coaches and teammates. Although no two injuries are the exact same and everyone handles them differently, my hope is, these notes may help some basketball player trying to break a full court press of their own.

There is enormous value in being a good friend and teammate.

You never accomplish all that you accomplish alone.

Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.

The most important stat for players to pay attention to: Leading your team in effort.

Three attributes for backup point guards:

◄Rarely turns the ball over.
◄Defends the dribble.
◄Respects the starting pg.

Be grateful for every ounce of talent and opportunity God has given you. He chose you to give them to. Be thankful.

Opportunities are not seen with your eyes. They are seen with you mind.

High character players all have these in common:

◄Works hard everyday.
◄Accepts their role.
◄Coachable

YOU CAN WIN WITH THESE PLAYERS

Fear and frustration only has two goals:

◄Ignore grace
◄Forget joy

If you only look at what you don’t have and what isn’t there, you will never enjoy what is there and what you do have.

You may have succeeded in high school off of raw talent, but you will never succeed in college without a tremendous work ethic and tremendous attitude.

Sometimes the biggest obstacle in life is getting over yourself. BE HUMBLE.

Enjoy all there is to enjoy about basketball because one day, no matter who you are or how great of a player you are, one day that ball will stop bouncing.

Your coaches and teammates learn a lot about you from the way you handle things being thrown at you. Not just what you do with a ball in your hands.

A choice to have a great attitude is something that nobody or no circumstance can take from you.

A rising tide will raise all boats. Make the people you are surrounded by better!

How great of a teammate and a leader you are isn’t determined by how much power you have. It’s determined by how much you serve and sacrifice for the people around you.

Be a servant leader, you’ll never regret it.

You can only hold your teammates accountable if you can be honest with yourself and accept your role.

You have to recommit yourself everyday to the cause. Some days you won’t feel well or don’t want to be there, but that’s never an excuse. Be committed.

Great teammates want to see the guy next to them succeed just as bad as they want to succeed themselves. Be selfless.

When you wake up in the morning, one positive thought in the morning can set the course for the entire day.

Find a way to win the day.

Coaches Pet Peeves:

◄Missed layups with no defense
◄No box outs
◄Dumb fouls – contest, make them shoot over you
◄Bending down for loose balls and not diving for them
◄Not knowing plays – be prepared when your name is called
◄Not screening a body in set plays
◄A silent bench with selfish teammates – don’t suck the life out of the gym

It’s all about the process. Putting people together that believe in each other, play hard for each other, are accountable for each other, and are selfless. If a team can buy into that then they can be successful.

5 Things That Kill Offenses:

◄Weak screens
◄Lazy, non credible cuts
◄Poor spacing
◄Holding the ball too long
◄Over dribbling

Too many people forget that happiness doesn’t come from getting what we don’t have. It’s about recognizing and appreciating what we do have.

When you have something taken from you. Whether it’s a short or long amount of time, it’s humbling. You become even more grateful for having the opportunity to do something you love.

Life is too short to be bitter. Bitterness never takes away from the pain, it adds to it.

When you have a 4 low baseline out of bounds offensive play, make sure your pass will be caught. If not, no one will be back for transition defense.

Even experiences we think are awful can carry the seeds of a great blessing.

Less is more. Don’t try to be a player you aren’t.

It’s important as a guard to have a go to move and a counter move in transition.

When you have the right culture it will attract high-level players.

Players think little about body language! Be aware that your body language to your teammates and coaches doesn’t whisper, it screams!

One of the main things I learned about leadership: People always say leadership is not about you. I disagree. I think is about the example YOU set and example YOU live for OTHERS. Be conscious of your actions and your decisions.

There’s a huge difference between interest and commitment. When you are interested in something, you do it only when you feel like it. When you are committed to something, you do it ALL the time.

The problem with players today is, they are only committed when they are conditionally bought in. Meaning, when things are going well for them, then they are committed to the cause. If things are going well, then they have a good attitude and they are coachable, they listen. But if it’s not, they are the complete opposite. They think it’s ok to not be coachable, to have a bad attitude, and to be a bad teammate.

Don’t fear making mistakes! That is the greatest mistake you can make in life is to not take enough risks. That is how you grow! Not by doing everything perfect.

You become your habits in pressure situations.

Make the right decision. Never make the easy decision because more than likely it isn’t the right one.

Peer govern your teammates if you are a leader. Don’t just worry about yourself and making sure you do right, make sure your teammates do right also.