THE EGG, A CARROT, AND SOME COFFEE BEANS

A few weeks ago we started the school year off with Jon Gordon speaking first to our coaches and then to our student-athletes.  He shared a story that I had not heard before about a carrot, an egg, some coffee beans and some hot water.  It's a pretty good story to share with your team:

Once upon a time, the daughter of an old gardener constantly complained about her life and about how difficult it was to continue. She was tired of fighting and did not feel like doing anything. When a problem was solved another one came up and that made her give up and feel defeated.

The gardener asked his daughter to come closer to the kitchen of his cabin and take a seat. Then he filled three containers with water and put them over fire. When the water began to boil, he put a carrot in one pot, an egg in the other and poured some coffee beans into the last one. He let them boil without saying a word while his daughter waited impatiently without understanding what her father was doing. After about twenty minutes her father turned off the fire. He took out the carrots and put them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them in another dish. Lastly, he ladled the coffee.

He looked at his daughter and said, “What do you see?” “Carrots, eggs and coffee,” was her answer. He brought her closer and asked her to touch the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. Then her asked her to take an egg and break it. She took the shell off and observed the hard boiled egg. Then he asked her to try the coffee. She smiled as she enjoyed its sweet aroma. The daughter then asked “What does this mean, dad?“

He explained that the three objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. But they had reacted very differently. The carrot went into the water strong and solid; but after passing through the boiling water it had become weak and easy to break up. The egg had been fragile, its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior; but after sitting through the boiling water, its insides became hardened. The coffee however was unique; after being in boiling water, it had changed the water.

“Which one are you?” he asked his daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot that seems strong, but when pain and adversity knocks, do you become weak and lose your strength? Are you an egg that starts with a malleable heart ? Do you possess a fluid spirit, but after a death, separation, or a layoff, become hard and stiff? On the outside you are the same, but how have you transformed on the inside?

Or are you like the coffee? The coffee changes the water, the element that causes it pain. When the water reaches its boiling point, the coffee achieves its best flavor. If you are like the coffee bean, when things get worse you react better and make the things around you better.

And you, which one of the three are you?

A MORNING WITH JON GORDON

How much has Jon Gordon influenced me? The picture above is a toy bus that sits on my desk as a reminder that I'm in charge of my own energy!

I can remember the first time I met Jon though I'm sure he won't recall it because of the thousands he's met.  I was an assistant coach at the University of Central Florida and was walking through our building and came upon my friend Brendan Suhr who was talking to someone I had not met. Brendan grabbed me and introduced to me to Jon and the three of us talked for about 30 minutes.  

Now here's the thing about Jon -- you can't have a conversation with him no matter how short or how long and not come away juiced up about life.  His enthusiasm is set on max and it's genuine.  His other gift is that he listens with the intent to understand. He cares.

The next day I went to Brendan's office and said "who is this Jon guy?"  Brendan asked me if I'd read The Energy Bus.  I told him I hadn't and he encouraged me to run out and grab a copy.

Bam!  Jon Gordon fan for life.  The hardest question to answer?  What's your favorite Jon Gordon book?  Every book is so unique and impactful that depending upon what you are going through in life will factor into what you book you like the most at that time.

The Energy Bus is even more special when you learn that 30 publishers turned down the book.  He literally had to live out the lessons of the book to see it to its unbelievable success.  I always keep an extra copy on my desk for instances when I think someone would benefit from reading it.

Our teams in the past have read several of Jon's books including this year's team which read The Power of A Positive Team.  Tomorrow, at our first team meeting, they will turn in their reports on the book and we will talk about the lessons we've garnered.  Two years ago, we read The Hard Hat together -- an amazing book on being a great teammate.

Today, Jon was on our campus where he talked to our coaches and support staff this morning and he will speak to our student-athletes tonight. This morning I was blessed to come away with five pages of notes and will share just a few of Jon's messages:

Jon started by telling us he was a "student first, teacher second."  

In regard to your team or organization, "are you a contagious germ or Vitamin C?"

When the Energy Bus first game out, it wasn't carried in a single book store in the USA.  So Jon set up a 28 city tour -- paid for by himself.

"Keep you vision alive and it will keep you alive."

Jon pointed out that most runners quit a marathon around the 20th mile.  They are tired yet still not close enough to see the end in sight.  He challenged us to find out what our "20th mile was" and to confront it.

#1 Predictor of success is grit.  And the key to grit?  Connectivity.

Great teams have collective belief.  The best leaders transfer belief.

#1 mistake is to allow negativity to exist.  You must deal with, transform it, or relieve it.

Rules without relationships create rebellion.  Also, tough-love will only work when the love comes first.

Athletics are a training ground for life.

And my favorite take away from this morning: "Your identity does not come from your performance.  It comes from who you are on the inside."

If you haven't experience the growth opportunity from reading Jon's books I can't recommend it strongly enough.  You will not only become a better coach, but a better person.  A great way to start is by visiting Jon's website where you can see all his books.  You can also read his newsletter as well as sign up for a newsletter.

JON GORDON CLINIC NOTES

Again, a big thanks to Coach Jessie Ivy for forwarding me some clinic notes taken at the Impact and Legacy Summit.  One of the sets in of notes include these from speaker/author Jon Gordon.

Leaders transform lives

Culture is not just one thing, culture is EVERYTHING.

• Most people focus on what’s urgent, instead of what matters.

• Once you know what you stand for, every decision is easy. The coach doesn’t just create the culture; your student-athletes create your culture.

• The coach and team has to fight for your culture EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

My vision/dream: Inspire and Empower as many people as possible, one person at a time.

• GRIT = #1 predictor of success.

What drives grit? A vision of where we are going.

• PURPOSE. You want your Purpose > Challenges.

• I learned to talk to myself instead of listen to myself. You can feel blessed or stressed. Research has shown that you cannot be thankful and stressed at the same time.

I take a “Walk of Gratitude, “everyday.

Failure is not meant to define you but to refine you.

Faith/Fear- both believe in a future that hasn’t happened yet. Which will you

choose?

Leadership is a transfer of beliefs.

2 secrets of Clemson Football:

1. Dabo believes in his team/coaches more than they believe in themselves.

2. SAFE SEAT: sharing, questions asked.

4 C’s of Leadership:

1. Communication: builds trust, fosters commitment

2. Connection: deeper level of communication, of relationships (THE GLUE)

3. Commitment: leader must be most committed. Demonstrate the

service/sacrifice.

4. Care: great leaders care more. Every leader has a unique care trademark.

If there is a void in communication, negativity will fill it.

• Relationships have to be first.

Share the 3 H’s: A hero, a hardship faced, and a highlight.

• 2 destructive things to communication

       busyness

       stress

Team beats talent when talent isn’t a team.

Meraki (Greek Word): the soul, creativity, or love put into something, the essence of yourself that is put into your work. Leave a piece of yourself in your work.

Success breeds fear sometimes because now you have something to lose.

Doc Rivers: "I communicate to my team collectively and 1-on-1."

You can always communicate more.

4 stages of PURPOSE

1. Preparation- prepare to be great

2. Planting- plant yourself where you are- serve great.

3. Growth- where most people give up

4. Harvest- won’t get here if you don’t deal with your constraints

COACHING CONSISTENCY

This afternoon I took a quick break to do a little reading (which I do and recommend).  Today I did some rereading of notes I took from "You Win in the Locker Room First," by Jon Gordon.  The following passage comes from former Atlanta Falcon head coach Mike Smith.  He speaks to the importance of consistency on the part of a coach and his approach to his team regardless of situations and circumstances:

"I see it all too often.  Coaches will begin the season with one philosophy and attitude, only  to change their approach and attitude when the team starts to lose.  As a leader you must be consistent in your leadership style, approach, attitude, philosophy, and tactics.  If you start off being supportive and friendly with players, you cant' go from being a player's coach to someone everyone hates.  You can't go from encouraging to condescending.  If you are not consistent throughout the year you will lose your team's trust, and as soon as that happens, you lose the locker room and in turn lose games.  Please know this doesn't mean you wont' have moments of anger or frustration.  We all do.  If you are a coach with high expectations who yells at times, your team will know that's your style and they will expect that from you.  The key is to be who you are and coach the way you do all year long no matter what your win-loss record is.  Your team must know what to expect from you.  They must see that you stick to your principles and philosophy through adversity and challenges.  You must be the same coach at 0-8 as you are 8-0.  It's hard to do, especially when you are losing and the pressure mounts, but if you don't, then you are doomed for failure.  The character you possess during the drought is what you team will remember during the harvest."

RECRUITING: GETTING THE RIGHT ONES

I've blogged before on the opinion I have of successful recruiting coming from a staff's ability to "get the right ones, not necessarily the best ones."  That philosophy is so eloquently on display in the movie "Miracle" as Herb Brooks is piecing together the USA Olympic Hockey Team.

Another example of this is given in Jon Gordon's book, "Hard Hat" when he is talking to Cornell's head lacrosse coach, Jeff Tambroni, about resurrecting the school's program:

When I asked Jeff how he got Cornell back to its winning ways, he said, “We know and embrace who our people are. In years past we would recruit lacrosse players en masse, but now we are looking to recruit a specific ten who most appropriately fit our culture. In fact, instead of trying to be everything to everyone, we actually try to weed out the people who wouldn’t be a good fit. We highlight the reality of our culture; it’s really cold in Ithaca much of the time and if you don’t like the cold, this is probably not the right place for you. We let them know it snows a lot during the late fall and winter at Cornell, and if you don’t like the snow, this is not the right place for you. We tell them that if they come here, we will provide them with an opportunity to train hard and be one of the hardest-working teams in the country with no illusion of wins and losses. If you don’t like to work hard for others, this is not the right place for you. We tell them about the hard hat, and if it doesn’t resonate with them then we know it won’t be a good fit. The hard hat has become a big part of our culture and represents all that we stand for. By weeding out the wrong people, we are able to zero in on the right guys that fit our culture and then partner with them as they develop into great teammates and a great team.”

THE WAY TO SUCCESS IS THE WAY OF THE CRAFTSMAN

The following comes from "The Carpenter" by Jon Gordon.  I love this so much I'm going to print it and frame it and put in my office -- constantly reading it to reaffirm it.  I'm also going to print it off and laminate it and place it in each player's locker -- I think it's that good:

The way to success is the way of the craftsman, where you work really hard for years. You show up every day. You do the work. You see yourself as an artist dedicated to your craft with a desire to get better every day. You put your heart and soul into your work as you strive for excellence. You desire to create perfection, knowing you’ll never truly achieve it but hoping to get close to it. You try new things. You fail. You improve. You grow. You face countless challenges and tons of rejection that make you doubt yourself and cause you to want to quit. But you don’t. You keep working hard, stay positive, and persevere through it all with resilience, determination, and a lot of hope and faith. Then you make it! Everyone wants to work with you. And the world says, ‘Where have you been?’ And you say, ‘I’ve been here all along, and hopefully getting better day by day.’ To the world, you are an overnight success. To you, the journey continues. You’re a craftsman who wants to make your next work of art your best work no matter what you have accomplished in the past.

LAUREN HILL, GEORGE BOIARDI, DUKE BASKETBALL: WHAT'S IN YOUR DASH

I was driving in early this morning for conditioning with our basketball team and was listening to Mike and Mike on ESPN radio.  I tuned in half way to Dick Vitale passionately talking about the battle kids face when diagnosed with cancer.  There are few people in the world today that are carrying water up the hill to battle cancer more feverously than Dick. 

Following him as guests on the show were the parents of Lauren Hill, Brent and Lisa.  Many will remember her as the basketball player who died of cancer.  I will remember her as someone who courageously made an impact on life like few others have -- even though her time here on earth was much shorter than most.  I personally was inspired listening to her parents talking about Lauren's decision to go public and see if she could make a difference -- and that she did.

It reminded me of a story someone told me, or maybe I read somewhere, about the "dash."  You see every event has a starting date and an ending day.  A basketball season has a first practice -- last game.  A coaching career has a first game -- last game.  A life has a birth date -- a death date. 

But it's the "dash" in between the two dates that's significant.  There is actually a poem entitled "The Dash" written by Linda Ellis.

Our team this summer has been reading "The Hard Hat" by Jon Gordon which tells the inspiring story of George Boiardi, a Cornell lacrosse player who lost his life on the playing field.  Jon's book goes into detail of the legacy he left in a short time by being an amazing teammate.

It wasn't about George's birthdate, or even the day he passed.  It was about the dash.  It was all about the time he put in between the two dates.

This past year, our season ended with a disappointing 1st round loss in the NCAA tournament.  To help motivate our players in this off-season, we created a motivational passout that detailed the journey of last year's Duke men's basketball team. In 2014, they too had a lost to a mid-major in the first round of the NCAA tournament.  Of course, a year later they were cutting down nets as the 2015 National Champions.  The key for the Blue Devils was of course, what had they done to fill in their dash.

And that stand for all of us -- in so many ways...what we are doing to fill in our dash.  It is process-oriented thinking.  Don't look down the road at an ending date.  Put your work in now.  In the words of Lauren Hill:

"Anything can happen at any given moment.

What matters is right now."


 

THE BEST PLAY IN THE PRESENT, NOT IN THE PAST

One of the terms we utilize with our players comes from Coach Don Meyer.  We tell them we want them to be NBA players.  NBA stands for Next Best Action.  In other words, we want them constantly player in the future and not in the past.  Great shooters have poor memories.  They never remember their last missed shot but instead, work to get their next make. 

It is the process oriented teaching that Coach Nick Saban drives home to his players.  He is not interested in his players checking the score or time on the clock as that information has nothing to do with them "dominating their opponent" on the next snap. 

While at LSU, baseball coach Skip Bertman had a small toy toilet in the dugout.  When a player had a bad at bat, a fielder committed an error, or a pitcher had a bad inning, they came in and "flushed" the toy toilet as a physical symbol that it's over -- it's gone -- time to focus on the here and now.

Of course this isn't an easy habit to develop -- especially for great competitors.  In his book "How Champions Think," Dr. Bob Rotella recalled a conversation where Dean Smith spoke to Michael Jordan about letting go of a bad game:
 
I remember hearing Michael Jordan speak some year ago about a lesson he’d learned from Dean Smith about dealing with failure. Michael had left the University of North Carolina and player a couple of years in the NBA. But he returned to Chapel Hill in the off-season to play pickup games with other Tar Heel alumni and talk with Coach Smith. 
 
On this occasion, he was talking to the coach about how hard it was for him to accept the seemingly cavalier attitude of his Bulls teammates toward losing. After a loss, he said, he would stay in the shower for an hour, replaying everything he did wrong as the hot water pounded over his body. Or he’d sit by his locker with a towel over his head, marinating his brain in images of mistakes. His teammates, on the other hand, would shower and get out of there. Michael thought they didn’t care.
 
Dean Smith disabused him of that notion. He told Michael that if he wanted to become the player he could be, he ought to give himself no more than ten or twenty minutes to reflect on a bad performance. That would be enough to learn everything that could be learned from it. After that, he advised Michael, he ought to think about playing great basketball in the next game—or do something else and not think about basketball at all. “If all you do is keep reliving your mistakes, you’re going to destroy yourself,” Dean said.

JON GORDON'S 9 WAYS TO BE A GREAT TEAM MEMBER

It's not the first time and won't be the last but everyone should be following @JonGordon11 on twitter and certainly you've signed up for his email letter (click here and sign up in top right hand corner) -- incredible stuff to utilize with your team.  And all of us who have been impacted by Jon are excited for his newest book to be released in May -- The Carpenter.

 

Here is an example of what you can get from Jon's email.  It will be a passout for our team next week when we get back from the SEC Tournament:

 

1. Set the Example - Instead of worrying about the lack of performance, productivity and commitment of others you simply decide to set the example and show your team members what hard work, passion and commitment looks like. Focus on being your best every day. When you do this you’ll raise the standards and performance of everyone around you.

 

2. Use Your Strengths to Help the Team - The most powerful way you can contribute to your team is to use your gifts and talents to contribute to the team's vision and goals. Without your effort, focus, talent and growth the team won't accomplish its mission. This means you have an obligation to improve so you can improve your team. You are meant to develop your strengths to make a stronger team. Be selfish by developing you and unselfish by making sure your strengths serve the team.

 

3. Share Positive Contagious Energy - Research shows emotions are contagious and each day you are infecting your team with either positive energy or negative energy. You can be a germ or a big dose a Vitamin C. When you share positive energy you infectiously enhance the mood, morale and performance of your team. Remember, negativity is toxic. Energy Vampires sabotage teams and complaining is like vomiting. Afterwards you feel better but everyone around you feels sick.

 

4. Know and Live the Magic Ratio - High performing teams have more positive interactions than negative interactions. 3:1 is the ratio to remember. Teams that experience interactions at a ratio equal or greater than 3:1 are more productive and higher performing than those with a ratio of less than 3:1. Teams that have a ratio of 2:1, 1:1 or more negative interactions than positive interactions become stagnant and unproductive. This means you can be a great team member by being a 3 to 1’er. Create more positive interactions. Praise more. Encourage more. Appreciate more. Smile more. High-five more. Recognize more. Energize more. Read more about this at www.FeedthePositiveDog.com

 

5. Put the Team First - Great team players always put the team first. They work hard for the team. They develop themselves for the team. They serve the team. Their motto is whatever it takes to make the team better. They don’t take credit. They give credit to the team. To be a great team member your ego must be subservient to the mission and purpose of the team. It’s a challenge to keep our ego in check. It’s something most of us struggle with because we have our own goals and desires. But if we monitor our ego and put the team first we’ll make the team better and our servant approach will make us better.

 

6. Build Relationships - Relationships are the foundation upon which winning teams are built and great team members take the time to connect, communicate and care to build strong bonds and relationships with all their team members. You can be the smartest person in the room but if you don’t connect with others you will fail as a team member. (Tweet This) It’s important to take the time to get to know your team members. Listen to them. Eat with them. Learn about them. Know what inspires them and show them you care about them.

 

7. Trust and Be Trusted - You can’t have a strong team without strong relationships. And you can’t have strong relationships without trust. Great team members trust their teammates and most of all their team members trust them. Trust is earned through integrity, consistency, honesty, transparency, vulnerability and dependability. If you can’t be trusted you can’t be a great team member. Trust is everything.

 

8. Hold Them Accountable - Sometimes our team members fall short of the team's expectations. Sometimes they make mistakes. Sometimes they need a little tough love. Great team members hold each other accountable. They push, challenge and stretch each other to be their best. Don’t be afraid to hold your team members accountable. But remember to be effective you must built trust and a relationship with your team members. If they know you care about them, they will allow you to challenge them and hold them accountable. Tough love works when love comes first. Love tough.

 

9. Be Humble - Great team members are humble. They are willing to learn, improve and get better. They are open to their team member's feedback and suggestions and don’t let their ego get in the way of their growth or the team’s growth. I learned the power of being humble in my marriage. My wife had some criticism for me one day and instead of being defensive and prideful, I simply said, "Make me better. I'm open. Tell me how I can improve." Saying this diffused the tension and the conversation was a game changer. If we're not humble we won’t allow ourselves to be held accountable. We won’t grow. We won’t build strong relationships and we won’t put the team first. There’s tremendous power in humility that makes us and our team better.

A STEP UP ASSISTANT COACHING SYMPOSIUM: BRENDAN SUHR

During NBA lockout two years ago, at Coaching U Live, there were 16 NBA coaches attending just to take notes and learn.

Don't coach basketball -- coach people.

The following are notes I took from my friend Brendan Suhr during his keynote address at "A Step Up Assistant Coaching Symposium."

Coaching is taking players where they can't take themselves.

Two important questions to ask yourself:
1. How does it feel to be coached by me
2. Would I want to play for myself

What do the great coaches have/do?
1. Energy, enthusiasm, passion
2. Determined, mentally tough
3. Be an optimist = competitive advantage
4. Develop skills

Become an expert at something

For an assistant coach is should be 10% emotion and 90% evaluation

Assistant coaches must always be up...can't have a bad day

Lou Holtz:  "Complaining is like vomiting.  It may make you feel better in the end but not everyone else around you."

Coach Suhr learned a lot from scouting -- helped him to develop his philosophy.

NBA teams have plays they only run in the last 4 minutes of a game.

When everyone knows what you are going to do -- it comes down to execution.

Culture of execution -- Jerry Sloan -- only had 7 plays.

Coach Suhr -- "Don't leave scars on your players before breaking down the video."

Loves Jon Gordon and his books.

UNDERSTANDING AND APPRECIATING THE IMPORTANCE OF YOUR ROLE

Here's a great story about attitude and understanding the importance of your role from Jon Gordon's "The Energy Bus."

There’s a story about when President Lyndon Johnson visited NASA and as he was walking the halls he came across a janitor who was cleaning up a storm, like the Energizer bunny with a mop in his hand. The president walked over to the janitor and told him he was the best janitor he had ever seen and the janitor replied, “Sir, I’m not just a janitor, I helped put a man on the moon.”

JON GORDON ON DOGS AND RELATIONSHIPS

Any reader of our blogs or those that follow us on twitter already know of my admiration for Jon Gordon.  He is an "impact player" in the game of life.  Through his books and speaking he is changing teams and individuals on a daily basis.  I have all of Jon's books and they have all impacted me.  His most recent book "One Word" has me on a path in which I have now lost 16 pounds.

 

Jon also has an email newsletter.  I look forward to each of them but really loved his most

recent one dealing with stress.  Like Jon, I too am a dog lover and understand the effects that unwavering loyalty and unconditional love can do for a relationship.  The photo above is of Miles -- our basset hound -- who both entertains and reduces level of stress in my life.

 

I strongly urge all of our readers to go to http://www.jongordon.com/ and register at the top for Jon's free newsletter.  Take some time to view the rest of the website.  And if you are one of the few that haven't already, invest in some of Jon's books.  As I mentioned, I have them all but "Training Camp" and "Energy Bus" are my two favorites. 

 

Here is what Jon had to say not only about dogs but about the importance of relationships:

 

Dharma "the love dog" greets me as I walk out of my bedroom in the morning. Then she rolls on her back letting me know she wants me to rub her belly. I really want to but I can’t stop thinking of all the things I have to do today. I feel busy, stressed and the last thing I want to do is stop to pet my dog.

 

Dharma must sense what I’m feeling because she gives me this loving look as if to say “Don’t walk away. Pet me. It will benefit you as much as it does me.”

 

I’ve read the research and I know she’s right. Petting our dogs reduces our stress, boosts our immune system, enhances our happiness and improves our overall well-being. If I would just stop for a few moments and spend quality time with her I would be the one who benefits most.

 

It’s the same way with the relationships in our life.

 

If we made time to invest in our relationships and spent quality time with our family, friends and colleagues we would dramatically improve the quality of our lives and careers.

 

Yet, too often busyness and stress cause us to focus on what is urgent instead of what matters most. We focus on our to-do list instead of people and our own survival instead of building thriving relationships.

 

That’s why I often say that busyness and stress are the enemies of great marriages, leadership, teamwork, relationships, and customer service. Busyness and stress keep us from caring about the people and things we are supposed to care about.

 

In many ways it’s not our fault. Science tells us that when we feel busy and stressed we activate the reptilian part of our brain. If you know anything about reptiles they will never love you. Reptiles want to eat you. They are all about survival. And so are we when we feel busy and stressed. Creating meaningful relationships is the last thing on our mind when we are stressed. Instead our reptilian brain is thinking about how to just make it through the day and it will eat anyone for lunch that gets in its way.

 

The good news, however, is that we have another part of the brain called the neocortex. I call it the Positive Dog part of our brain and we activate it when we love, care, pray, and practice gratitude. In any moment we can override the reptile with the positive dog.

 

We can choose to love people instead of ignoring them. We can choose to slow down instead of rushing. And we can choose to be thankful instead of stressed.

 

In fact, the research shows we can’t be stressed and thankful at the same time. So anytime we are feeling busy and stressed we can pause, take some deep breaths, focus on gratitude, and change how we approach the day and the people in our life.

 

This brings us back to Dharma as she waits for me to rub her belly. My reptilian brain is telling me to keep moving, hurry up, eat breakfast and ignore the dog. But I can’t. I won’t.

 

I know how and why busyness and stress can sabotage my joy and relationships. I know the antidote to busyness and stress is a positive thought away. I know that in each moment of my busy life I can override the reptile and focus on my relationships. And I know that when I make relationships my top priority everything in my life is better.

 

When you know better... you do better.

 

So I sit down and join Dharma on the floor and rub her belly. Then I make my way into the kitchen to talk to my wife and kids before school. It turns out to be the beginning of a positive and productive day.

 

-Jon

 

Now that you know how busyness and stress can sabotage relationships, what will you do better to make relationships a priority. Share your thoughts on my blog, Facebook Page, or Twitter.

 

Note: To read more about the science and benefits of positivity read The Positive Dog. To read more about cultivating engaged relationships read Soup.

NO SUCH THING AS AN OVERNIGHT SUCCESS

From my favorite Jon Gordon book, "Training Camp":

There is no such thing as an overnight success. Too many believe in the fantasy that superstar athletes, actors, musicians, doctors, Olympians, and others were born that way or simply stumbled on their success overnight. After all, the best of the best make what they do look so easy that people either think anyone can do it or that there are those who are chosen to do it. This myth is perpetuated by the media. On television we see the successful person performing his craft. We see the concert, the movie, the computer program, the presentation, the game, the play, the miracle surgery, the lecture, the Nobel Prize, the latest discovery, or the Olympic event. We see the end result—the outcome—but what most of us don’t see are the countless hours of sweat, toll, dedication, practice, and preparation that lead to greatness. The golf champion practiced thousands of putts before hitting the one to win the U.S. Open. The tennis champion hit a million backhands before winning Wimbledon. The rock star sang for countless hours before reaching stardom. Technology designers spent thousands of hours to create new and revolutionary products that make our lives easier. The teacher spent a career preparing and practicing ways to better connect with and teach her students before winning a teacher of the year award. The symphony practiced thousands of hours to create music that brought the audience to tears. And the sales team spent a year preparing for the important meeting that landed their biggest client. The ideal of the overnight success is a myth. Just as the Olympian must train for years for one defining race, you must wake up each day and practice, prepare, and train to be your best. Don’t settle for mediocrity, but strive each day for excellence. It requires hard work, preparation, and hours of effort, but it’s worth it.

So if you want to be great you have to commit to a challenging process of preparation. “He’s right,” Coach Ken added. “Yesterday I told you that you had to be willing to pay the price. Well, that price is paid with countless hours of hard work on the field and off the field. In fact, most of our time is actually spent preparing off the field, and it’s not always fun. It’s the same way with every aspect of life. I call it the Game-Day Principle. Five percent of a person’s life is made up of our performance on game day, while 95 percent is made up of the time we are preparing, practicing, and waiting to perform. Think about it: We spend two hours on the field each day for practice and three hours, tops, during game day, and yet we spend thousands of hours in the weight room, training in the off-season conditioning during the week, studying film, memorizing playbooks, the list goes on. The fact is, how we practice and prepare with 95 percent of our time determines how we perform on game day. It requires thousands of hours of practice, dedication, hard work, and focus.”

A FEW JON GORDON THOUGHTS FROM COACHING U LIVE

I took a few minutes this morning to review 7 pages of notes that I took from Jon Gordon's message that he shared with us at Coaching U Live this summer.  I will share a few of the points that really grabbed me but I would also take this time to share with you three things that can help you as a coach:

1. Read Jon's books -- they have profound messages that will help you as a coach, a person as well as help your team.

2. Don't miss an opportunity to hear Jon speaks -- he speaks the way he writes: inspiring!

3. Make sure you attend Coaching U Live next year -- it is an amazing growing experience for you as a coach.

Some thoughts from Jon:

Always strive to be better.  And he shared the story of being at a seminar where Zig Ziglar was the headline speaker only to see him in the audience while others spoke.  Zig, at the age of 82 (at that time), and one of the true masters in his profession, was taking notes -- he was still looking to learn.

Past success does not determine future success.

My favorite from his talk: "Would you want to be coached by you?"

He quoted Kevin McHale: "Outwork your talents."

Culture drives behavior.
Behavior drives habits.
Habits drives strategy.

It's never to late to start creating a culture but it is always better to start in the beginning.

Being positive can be hard work.

My second favorite from his talk: "Every player brings a story with them.  It is our job to know that story."

You must win in the locker room before you can win on the court.

As I said, these are just a few of my 7 pages of notes...thanks Jon Gordon -- thanks Coach U Live!

FIVE THINGS TO DO INSTEAD OF COMPLAIN

1. Practice Gratitude. Research shows that when we count three blessings a day, we get a measurable boost in happiness that uplifts and energizes us. It’s also physiologically impossible to be stressed and thankful at the same time. Two thoughts cannot occupy our mind at the same time. If you are focusing on gratitude, you can’t be negative. You can also energize and engage your coworkers by letting them know you are grateful for them and their work.

2. Praise Others. Instead of complaining about what others are doing wrong, start focusing on what they are doing right. Praise them and watch as they create more success as a result. Of course, point out their mistakes so they can learn and grow, but make sure you give three times as much praise as criticism.

3. Focus on Success. Start a success journal. Each night before you go to bed, write down the one great thing about your day. The one great conversation, accomplishment, or win that you are most proud of. Focus on your success, and you’ll look forward to creating more success tomorrow.

4. Let Go. Focus on the things that you have the power to change, and let go of the things that are beyond your control. You’ll be amazed that when you stop trying to control everything, it all somehow works out.

5. Pray and Meditate. Scientific research shows that these daily practices reduce stress; boost positive energy; and promote health, vitality, and longevity. When you are faced with the urge to complain or you are feeling stressed to the max, stop, be still, plug-in to the ultimate power, and recharge.

From "The No Complaining Rule" by Jon Gordon

JON GORDON ON "LOVING TOUGH"

Great stuff from Jon Gordon that goes to the heart of coaching and especially teaching:

I believe in tough love.

If you are a leader, manager, coach, teacher or parent, caring about someone often requires you to challenge and push them to improve, grow and reach their full potential.

Even the best athletes in the world have a coach to push them.

But for tough love to work, love must come first.

We must love tough to bring out the best in those we lead!

If people know you care about them they will be more receptive to you pushing them.

On the other hand if you put tough before love you're more likely to face resistance.

As Andy Stanley says, "Rules without relationship leads to rebellion."

The old dictator tough, without love, style of leadership no longer works.

Having spent time with a number of professional and college sports teams it's clear that even athletes who seem to have it all want to know that their coach cares about them. The best coaches love their players and their players know it and play harder and are more loyal to that coach.

The same is true for education and business.

Research shows that test scores go up when students have a relationship with their teacher.

Numerous engagement surveys show that people are more engaged at work when they know their manager / boss cares about them.

So keep pushing your people to be their best. If you are parent like me, keep pushing your kids to reach their full potential.

Your team needs your toughness to grow!

But remember to put love first. Make relationships a priority.

Your love will create the right conditions for growth to happen!

Love + Tough = Growth