Wednesday, August 31, 2011

HOW WE FEEL IS INFLUENCED BY OUR ASSOCIATIONS


The following comes from a book by Jim Rohn and I think it includes some great thoughts for coaches, players and people in general.  A big part of who we comes from those in our circle of influence.  How much time to you spend checking on your circle of influence -- evaluating what they are giving you in the way of influence?  Do you actively spend time recruiting people to your circle with the thought that they can help you grow professionally and personally?

Here is what Jim Rohn had to say about it:

The people with whom we choose to associate are a major source of what we know and how we feel. There are three major questions which those in search of a better life must constantly ask themselves:

Question #1: Who am I around?
It pays to take a survey once in a while of those people who touch our lives on a daily basis and to mentally weigh the effect these members of our inner circle might be having on us. What reputation do they have with those who are productive, knowledgeable and respectful? What is the level of their own past accomplishments? What is the depth of their knowledge? Do they understand the value and importance of attitude, goals and personal development?

Those who can reach us and affect us on a daily basis should inspire us, not spread the seeds of doubt and dissent with their pessimism, complaining and ridicule of others. Maintaining a positive attitude in the face of life’s challenges is difficult enough without this kind of influence in our lives.

Question #2: What effect are they having?
That’s a legitimate question. Where do they have us going? How have they got us talking? What have they got us thinking, reading and doing? What influence are they having on our ability to perform well and to grow, and to feel good about what we are doing? Most important of all—what do they have us becoming?

It is easy to let the wrong people slip into our lives. That is why we must take a close look at this circle of influence.

In an effort to protect ourselves from the wrong influences, we may be forced to walk away from people we have known for many years in order to develop more positive and motivating friendships.

Question #3: Is that acceptable?
Sometimes it is helpful to remember that it is not just our attitude that we are attempting to protect and nurture, but the future well-being of others as well. If we are strong, we can help others to change and to improve their lives.

In order to protect our better future we must have the courage to disassociate whenever necessary. That may not be an easy choice, but it may be a necessary one.

Like failure, influence is subtle. We would never allow someone to deliberately push us off the course we have set for ourselves. But if we are not careful, we might inadvertently permit someone to nudge us in the wrong direction a little each day.

Disassociation is not something to be treated lightly. It must be done carefully and thoughtfully. But if we are sincere about changing ourselves and designing a better future, we are obligated to distance ourselves from those who are having the wrong effect on us. The price of not doing it is simply too enormous.

From "The Five Major Pieces to the Life Puzzle" by Jim Rohn