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Tuesday, June 7, 2011


The following comes from "Coaching the Mental Game" by H.A. Dorfman:

Two Questions: Who Am I? Who Am I Required to Be?

By being master of ourselves we can, to the extent possible, break the bondage to our genes. We’re then able to ask ourselves the question “Who do I choose to be?” rather than ask “Why must I be this way?” Though the task is not necessarily an easy one, we can devote ourselves to adopting any style we may deem appropriate. Our behavior can go beyond our personality if we are determined enough.

Each day I’ve asked myself, “Who was I today (or in such-and-such situation)?” And each day I ask, “Was that who I wanted to be?” It’s a reality check that, at first, is daunting. It’s an ordeal, for sure, but it forces my ego to answer to my brain. And our best answers come from there.

The coach who does a poor job of teaching needs to believe “These kids can’t retain anything.” It’s a tough job to be realistic about ourselves, but it’s essential.

Carl Rogers wrote, “No one can explain our behavior more expertly than we ourselves can.”

Bill Parcells has said, “The one guy I answer to is the guy in the mirror.”

After scanning the list below, determine what you consider to be areas of need. Then be relentless in doing something about the.

Self-actualized coaches are:

• Accepting of themselves. They don’t arbitrarily accept every view.

• Realistic in their perceptions of themselves and others.

• Independent.

• Able to be decision makers.

• Spontaneous.

• Willing to delegate authority to others.

• Able to communicate a sense of humor.

• Creative.

• Concerned for the well-being of others.

• Capable of having close and satisfying relationships with their athletes.